A BRIEF GLOSSARY OF TERMS FROM THE LORDS DICTIONARY

LORD - n. British Nobleman, peer of the realm; feudal superior; one ruling others; owner; God.
A great man or woman, even in times of overwhelming adversity. An embracer of glorious failure.
Person who drinks and is merry, regardless of circumstance or consequence. From the French expression "Drunk as a Lord". Must not be confused with an alcoholic who is someone who drinks to avoid facing up to consequence or circumstance

FARMFOODER - n. A non-Lord. Someone for whom it is impossible to obtain Lordy status. Often prefaced by the word "fucking". Term of abuse

THE DEAL'S GONE SOUR - sl. Something that is practically guaranteed to be good but then suddenly, without warning, goes bad; i.e. a cold pizza or Ginger Ale labelled as Ginger Beer

CHEGG - n. An egg fried with a large slice of cheese on top

BREGG - n. An egg fried with a piece of broccoli on top. Theoretical

SHEPP - a. A mythical and as-yet unreached plateau of musical excellence. To "Shepp it up" or to "Get Shepp" on someone means the act of embarking on a pursuit of said musical plateau

MASHED POTATO - sl. Shit band

GINGER BEER - The Lords' nectar. Not to be confused with Ginger Ale

TAKE OUT THE BINS - sl. The act of cleansing, the removal of trash (usually from ones mind)

BUM MUD - n. Too many Cheggs

BASS PLAYER - A disturbance sent by Farmfooders. Usually applied to thwart any attempt to achieve Shepp. To be avoided. Not to be confused with Bassist, which is something that Garage Rock bands don't have

BEIGE OWL - The most technically advanced recording format yet invented. Only to be used by qualified engineers. Like pouring warm soundmilk into the eardrum

DAD FAD (pronounced "Dad Feeyad") - The answer. What's the question you ask? Indeed

SAUCE - The sound garnish applied by a qualified Lord. I.e. "Golden Summer" by Golden is smothered in Sauce. "Czep" by Brown Owl is the aural equivalent of a fish and chip supper that consists of nothing but Ketchup such is the level of Sauce. "Just Got Paid" by ZZ Top is like being crushed to death by 3 tons of Sauce falling from the sky and that sky being a sky made out of Sauce

RINSE - The act of flushing away anything shit with one swoop of the fretboard. i.e. "Wow, you really rinsed that guitar solo. That guy in the tennis shorts was crying".

GRETSCH - Sausage, i.e. "Is that a veggie Gretsch?" or "You shit. You got me right in the Gretsch"

AIR SIMMS - The most luxurious way of flying. Lords always fly Air Simms wherever possible as does Neil who is company vice president.

SPUME - Victorian word for semen that needs reassessing

THE CAR'S GONE SHORT - The Deal's Gone Sour

MINGUS - To chew an oversized steak and spit it in a bucket before the act of swallowing commences, i.e. "If you're going to Mingus that steak can you not do on my rug, it's Persian". Can be applied to any bizarre eating practise.

JET WASH - To ejaculate spume on oneself by accident whilst driving at speeds in excess of 90 mph

GOING SOUTHBOUND - From the lyrics of Lynott, Phillip: to be lost en route to a gig

SHED - Descriptive term used (usually in conversation with sound person at gig) to describe the desired overall tone of a Lords performance through the Public Address System

GUITASS / BASSAR - Instruments used by Lord Philippe and Lord Christophe, the secrets of which will only be revealed to those who can be trusted

FLARES - Trouser form worn by Lord Joseph Totale of Liverpool

MOTHERFUCKER - Dark grey Citroen XM Estate with severe LHM fluid leak. Aka The Lords' Wagon circa 2006.

MATH ROCK - Something that Mashed Potatoes might enjoy playing or listening to

TRAVELDICK (related to: TUBECOCK, PODBONER ) the law that states that any prolonged spell in a transportation or sleeping device will inevitably result in the tuning up of one's Gretsch

KEBABTHIGH - Condition caused by the evacuation of takeaway contents onto bare thigh in a public place, followed by unashamed retreaval and consumption of onion/mayo/meat-ball. Only affects skirt-wearers. And possibly a regional occurrence seen only in the Liverpool area, though only extensive research by Beat Ham Wall Ass and Sumlin will confirm/quash this possibility.

MERVINATOR - Silver Citroen vehicle that took over the role of The Lords' Wagon after the death of theMOTHERFUCKER in late 2006. Sister vehicle subsequently purchased by Tank, That Fucking.

THE POD - Mythical sleeping-bag styled device that protects Lord Elvin from all weather and adversity. Though can cause Podboner in certain circumstances, especially post-Kebabthigh research.

THE YELLOW FELLOW - The amplifier that just keeps on giving* (*Tinnitus, that is).

THE LORDS' DONATION - A Mike Watt-ism of sorts. The generous act that us Lords partake in, of leaving something (of varying value and importance) in every venue that we play in, ever.